Parents of teenagers will agree that it is not uncommon for them to experience harsh words from their children. These are usually sentences like “I can not stand you” or “I can not wait to grow up and get out of here.” Despite everything you try to do as parents, it is often the parents who feel that the child does not care about them at all and that they simply can not connect with the child or reach his soul. This is really demotivating and disappointing for every parent. But still, you should be who you are and continue to raise your child to build an educated person, because if you try to satisfy only his needs you will get lost in that wrong track.
The mother of a teenager, Estella Havisham, decided to write a letter to her son Aaron. She tried to teach her son what it looks like to be an adult. Read her letter below.
Dear Aaron,
Since you seem to have forgotten that you are only 13 and I’m the parent, and that you won’t be controlled, I guess you will need to learn a lesson in independence. Also, as you threw in my face that you are making money now, it will be easier to buy back all the items I bought for you in the past. If you would like your lamp / lightbulbs or access to the internet, you will need to pay your share of costs:
Rent: $ 430Electricity: $ 116
Internet: $ 21
Food: $ 150.
Also you will need to empty the trash Mon, Wed & Friday as well as sweep and vacuum those days. You will need to keep your bathroom clean weekly, prepare your own meals and clean up after yourself. If you fail to do so I will charge you a $ 30 maid fee for every day I have to do it. If you decide you would rather be MY CHILD again instead of a roommate, we can negotiate terms.
When children enter a strange and exciting period of life called adolescence, they change completely. Adolescence is the biggest challenge for parents as well as for tolerating the limits of their parenting methods and strategies. The mother’s letter to her son became a viral hit, sparking a debate over whether this was the right way to discipline a teenager.
Rules Every Parent of a Teenager Should Know
- Communicate with your child
Most parents are not aware that they are constantly asking the same questions to their children, such as: did you write your homework, how did your day at school, when did you go to training, etc.? Constantly the same questions that are not at all interesting for your child. Your child has a feeling that you do not really want to communicate with him and that you are not interested in the rest of his life. You need to talk to your child about his emotions, his dreams, his views, simply listen and show interest. That way you will teach them to communicate when they are adults, and at the same time you will build a nice and friendly relationship.
- Respect your child
Respect is the foundation of any relationship. Some outdated methods of upbringing should be set aside and mutual respect should be achieved. It must be accepted that the child has the right to personal dignity, emotions, personal opinion as well as the right to make mistakes. Respect is a two-way street, so with fear and intimidation you will not achieve anything other than that fear and intimidation to manifest one day from them to you.
- Separate the children from yourself
The two most important things that a parent can do for a child are to love and let go. There is nothing good in a child being literally glued to you like a band-aid and having no self or life of their own. You need to leave room for your child to develop without you, and that will help him to become a complete person. As children grow older, parental control and influence become limited. It is very important to achieve balance.
- Apply conscious modeling
This term may be a little confusing, but we will explain. As a parent, you are a role model for your child. Children are constantly watching your behavior, when you are in a good or bad mood and they learn from what they see. You may be trying to instill in your child what he or she needs to do, but he or she will act the way you do as a parent. And on top of that, they will be confused and will build standards that will be in one form for themselves and completely different standards for other people.
- Take care of yourself
Last but not least, you need to be a parent and take care of your child. But that does not mean that you should neglect to take care of yourself. Take care to look good and rested and desired and satisfied in every aspect of your life, so you will teach your child to strive for it.
